Friday, January 13, 2012

Procrastination, Picking at Scabs, and 113 Pages

More mapping, more notes, more plotting...and two more pages.  It is slow progress, but progress nonetheless.  Today it is a herculean effort to sit down and write...to focus and try to extricate the ideas from my head and somehow get them on paper well enough that later, when I rewrite and edit, perhaps they will be close to what I can see in my head.

My head...feels a bit like black hole.  I fear that the ideas that I have in my head will be sucked away if I don't get them safely on the page NOW...

This is very similar to the black hole in my brain.
(Source: NASA/o CXC/MIT/F.K. Baganoff et al.)



...so some days I write frantically.  I scribble the words late at night and hope that it all still makes sense in the morning.

Other days, I pause with my pencil in mid-air and stare blankly at the last sentence I wrote.  Waiting. The reason for the procrastination is that I know the road a certain character is traveling, and I know that writing will bring him one page closer to his demise.  For other characters, there is a particularly pivotal scene that I need to get down, and I need to turn it over in my mind different ways and examine it before I know how to best present it.  Then there are awkward days...days that I have to write about emotions, with all the sticky, messy, well-worn baggage that comes with it.  It can be unpleasant having to share a character's betrayal or abandonment or jealousy...it stirs up things we would prefer to leave buried.  Some may call it cathartic, but it never seems to feel that way to me.  For me, it is more like picking at scabs. 

As I start writing today, I am at 113 pages.  On this particular day, 01-13-2012, that seems appropriate.  I should be about a third of the way through the first draft of the book, and yet there is still so much to do!  Which leads to me to my recent realization...the story will have to encompass more than one book.

This is all just the beginning.

6 comments:

  1. Friday the 13th. And one page closer to death. I love it. And, I know what you mean about the scabs. Sometimes the "catharsis" can be a bit... intense. This is how we bleed for our art. This is how we make it true.

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    1. That is true, and you have definitely seen me get all worked up about my book and characters, um...once or twice! Thank you for always pointing me back on track!

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  2. You've got to be cruel to your characters, but at least you're still writing. Too many people give up.

    If your book does have to go to a second one, then at least you know what your next novel will be about.

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    1. Ah, true. I had not thought of that! I have a guaranteed jumping off point!

      It true about having to be cruel, though. If they all lived idyllic lives, there would be nothing interesting about which to read.

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  3. Self-imposed deadline can be helpful... My wife writes really fast, so she tends to knock out ten pages in a day, then take a day or two off to mull over what will happen next. I'm not good at that. I write very slowly. So my deadline is to write 2 pages a day, even if they aren't great and I need to revise later. Some days I miss that deadline, which is why I've added the second requirement of posting seven pages a week to my blog. With those twin swords hanging over my head I usually get the work done... usually...

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  4. I absolutely LOVE hearing how different writers write! I might be able to do ten pages a night when the kids are older (or when I learn to go completedly without sleep!), but until then I think I will have to settle with my three pages per night (-ish).

    Confession: I have found that, since I started 'fessing up to my page count on a pretty regular basis, if I do skip I day I feel much guiltier and more likely to try to "make it up" the next time I write. (Yes! Bring on the writer's guilt!)

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