Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Life vs. Art

The past couple of weeks have been a tug of war between the realities of life and the art that I am so eager to make.  I want to be able to sit down, to focus, to create...but life has a way of thwarting those desires.  Sometimes life demands too much time and energy, and there is not much strength left to dream, or create, or even breathe. 

I had an ultrasound on Monday. On Tuesday they called to tell me there was a .4 cm mass. There have been calls to this doctor and that doctor to try to sort it all out. Most likely, it will be nothing. The odds are good that it will be nothing more than just one more momentary distraction that drains far more time and energy than necessary. Life is like that.

I had an ultrasound on Monday.  On Tuesday they called to tell me there was a .4 cm mass.  There have been calls to this and that doctor to try to sort it all out.  Most likely, it will be nothing.  The odds are good that it will be nothing more than just one more momentary distraction that drains far more time and energy than necessary.  Life is like that.

Moment by moment you have to choose where to invest your time...your energy.  Moment by moment you try to focus, but other things pull you in different directions.  Life vs. Art.  This vs. That.

For several days, I focused on doctors, and googling, and borderline obsessing.  But then, for an hour over yet-another-peanut-butter-sandwich in the corner of the office break room, I stared at the computer screen and the words came.  Six hundred and fifty four of them.  Certainly no record, but good solid words that were hard won in a week when Life seemed to be winning over Art.

I will take this victory, small though it may be.

We find our victories where we can.