The Evolution of Dreams...and the Art of Asking

Things don’t always happen the way we expect or in the order we anticipate.  Plans get derailed, dreams get sidelined, but sometimes—if we are lucky—the reality turns out to be even better than what we originally hoped for. 

My novel is still in the works, but it is really difficult for me to work on a piece that relies so heavily on continuity when I can only carve out small blocks of time.  Between work, and family, cleaning, and carpooling, and writing articles for extra income—well, it can be nearly impossible to sit down, reorient myself, remember where I left off and where I was going, find my voice, and get down a reasonable number of words before I doze off at my keyboard. 

However, I have been writing several short stories.  Some I wrote for contests, some to submit to magazines or journals, and others I wrote because they would not shut up until I did.  Last week, I glanced over the files of short stories that cluttered my computer.  I didn’t realize how many I had amassed or the spectrum they covered:  Southern Gothic, science fiction, horror, mystery….

About that same time, I read that Amazon had a new imprint.  I read a little further and realized that it was geared toward short stories.  Apparently, short stories are enjoying a renaissance!   Whether it is due to time constraints or decreased attention spans, I have no idea—but the timing couldn’t be better!

Now, I am not always the most observant person in the world (a hardship for a writer, I know), but I don’t need a pile of books to fall on my head for me to wonder if perhaps—just perhaps—this is a sign.  

Even if it isn’t a sign, I am going to pretend it is. 

I am going to release some single short stories as well as a collection on Amazon.  As things get closer, I will need your help—help choosing a book cover and possibly the title.  I will need help getting word out.  If you decide to purchase a story, or the collection, perhaps you will also consider helping out by writing an honest review sharing your thoughts and impressions.  You can help by spreading the word (once there is more word to spread).  And you can help with your presence, your encouragement, and your well-wishes--they really do keep me going.

I feel a bit like Amanda Palmer (but with eyebrows and pathetic singing voice) humbly asking that you share in this dream with me.  If you have not seen her TED Talk, you should. 

 

Asking for help is scary and risky and…liberating.

 I will let you know as things get closer, because I when I jump…I’m going to need someone to catch me! 

Still the World Continued

I missed my blogoversary.  It was last week.  But last week is a blur...a really bad, really long and drawn out blur. 

It all started Monday night.  I found out that my uncle died.  I had not seen him in quite some time.  He had been in prison.  He was my only uncle, or at least the only one I grew up knowing.  He was the one who told me stories, and grew gardens rivaled anything in a magazine.  I was married in his garden, near the bridge and just down the hill from the pergola, with a sound of a bagpipe wafting in the autumn breeze.  When his sister (my aunt) was murdered, it was he who drove with me back and forth to the courthouse several counties away.

I never got to say goodbye.  Not to either of them.  One moment they were here and, a moment passed and it was suddenly too late.  We always think there is time enough....

Then on Wednesday, my dad went into the hospital for tests and had some complications.  A series of telephone calls, and missed information, and driving around trying to find the right hospital.  He was admitted, and the immediate threat was taken care of...for now.

Thursday brought with it a dog attack on our cat (luckily, it seems it only used one of his nine lives, so all is well).

Friday was the funeral.  It was surreal and dismal and so totally not-a-proper funeral that I have decided that it was NOT actually his "real" funeral.  No, that will happen this spring when I can plant some rosemary (for remembrance) and gather my children around the grave to tell them stories of the great-uncle whom they will never remember but through the images I weave for them.  And weave I shall. 

I arrived home Friday so very tired, and drained, and emotionally spent.  But then there was another call.  Another death.  This time it was another aunt...stolen away by illness.  She was gone nearly as soon as I had heard she was ill.  Another wordless goodbye. 

So, amidst the plague of sorrows that had cloaked my house, I did not notice something else passing...time, milestones, and silent markers along this journey.  Hour blurred into hour and day into day.  Before I noticed, the whole week was gone and I was left too weary to care.

After many cups of tea, and many spontaneous hugs from children who can't quite understand why mommy is weepy, the moments stop bleeding together and start to resemble something familiar.  The fog begins to lift. 

Despite my grief, still the world continued.

A year has passed since I started this blog.  Some goals have been met, and some are just now taking form.

A year has passed...but the journey continues.

New Year, Same Journey

I do not tend to make resolutions.  I always mean to…I just never seem to have my thoughts collected by December 31^st.  I still have visions of sugarplums, and remnants of “To Do” lists dancing in my head.  So, as far as resolutions go, I vow only to Read More, Write More, and Love More.  Anything beyond that is the cherry on top.

I have always been all about the journey, rather than the destination.  Because even once I get somewhere, I tend to be looking onward.  This is both a blessing and a hindrance.  It is wonderful to look ahead, but I do need to be reminded, at times, to stop and look around…to appreciate it all while it lasts.

I find that the month of January tends to result in lofty goals and aspirations, some which I end up achieving (almost in spite of myself) and others which I continue to aspire to, but all of which I am proud. 

Last year, I got motivated to work on my novel.  And I am still working on it.  The past year has seen me make startling (well, for me, at least) amounts of progress on the novel.  It has seen the start of this blog (and, yes, my blogoversary is looming), and the start of my author Facebook page.  2012 allowed me to start making some money with my writing, and I have been blessed to see my words in print.  (And I am hoping that 2013 sees more of both!) [Knocking on wood.]

I hope that 2013 brings more words, and more books; more love, and more friendship; more blessings, and more prosperity. 

I hope that it brings health and joy, honesty and dignity, and that it brings truth, and honor, and courage. 

May it bring things worth quoting, and remembering, and sharing…and friends with which to carry on the journey.

Writer at Rest. Writer at Unrest.

As I go through the process of typing everything into the computer, I find that the second book in the series is shouting at me.  I will be happily tapping on the keys and my inner-writer screams:

Oh my gosh, Gideon is XXXXXXXXXXX!!* 

And then I will stop, my eyes glassy and my mouth agape in horror.  Of course he is! I think, I must make a note of that!  So I stop and make a note, then (being on a roll and all) I add that to my timeline.  Then a snippet of conversation seeps into my brain, and I have to jot that down as well.  Then, I glance up and realize that I have spent half an hour on the second book, when I really need to be finishing up this first book!

Oh...right.

But, in my defense, it can be very difficult to focus when your characters scream in your head.  In fact, they have been keeping me up at night.  Between late night typing and revelations as midnight, I think I am getting a bit twitchy!  I call this phenomenon "Writer at Unrest."

It is all I can do to buckle down and type, type, type so that I can get this finished.  (I even had one moment when I contemplated having my daughter type it in for me (which would be fine, but she is only nine so I am not sure that is one of my better ideas).

I have decided that I definitely do need to invest in an inexpensive laptop for writing purposes.  Something I can keep with me at all times in case inspiration strikes without feeling like I am depriving someone else of the computer.  I think I will try the next book on the computer (complete with time lines and character pages!).  Please feel free to remind me of this when I ultimately fail to do any of these things.  Someone should keep me accountable.

In the meantime, I will continue with scrawling things on paper and typing them up.  It has served me well so far.  Besides, I have such wonderful company on my journey....

I call this photo "Writer at Rest"

My daughter is busy working on her book, and I could not be more proud!  No matter what happens, at least I am teaching her to follow her dreams.  That has to count for something!

When she is not writing, she is busy nagging me to let her get a Pinterest account.  (I don't have a photo of said nagging, sorry!)  I do have to admit that I am developing a bit of a fascination with Pinterest.  It gives me a lovely spot to house the writing quotes that I come across, and it also lets me keep track of photos that are inspiring my writing.  (If you are so inclined, you can click that nice little "Follow me on Pinterest" button that I added today and check out my boards to see what has been rattling around in my mind lately.)

And, one final reminder:

The countdown continues for the World Book Night (April 23rd).  The book that I will be handing out is (drum roll please) The Things They Carried, by Tim O'Brien.  I have not read it yet, and (as you may recall) I will be giving the book away here.  [More on that will be announced soon!] 


*  All spoilers have been redacted to preserve the creative integrity of the final work (plus, I just like messin' with you!).

Getting from Here to There...and 130 Pages

Today I had to write one of "those bits" of the book...one of those bits where there is anger and suspicion and judgment.  It is strange when you take characters you like and pit them against each other.  I feel like I am trapped between warring friends...reluctant to take sides. 

I realized today that I am nearly half way through my first draft!  (Insert applause here.)  I have finally hit the part of the book where things starting happening faster...where things start to take on a life of their own.  I have had to try to keep pace with my brain.  I have had to draw maps, make family trees, create time lines...all in an effort to keep up with momentum I feel building.

This map is neither Here nor There...this is simply an old map I found, but I thought it had character so here it is.

I have contemplated creating a few different pages here...perhaps a character page, or maybe an image of one of the hand-drawn maps I have created (quite unlike the Neither Here-nor-There Map which I randomly inserted above merely for effect)...  I find myself wanting to make the world I am creating as real for those who gather here as it is in my own mind.

The further I get into my book, the more real it becomes.  I realize that I am less than a year away from giving everyone access to this thing that has been rattling around in my head.  This excites me and terrifies me.  But, before I can get carried away in that possibility, I make myself return to reality... 

My reality, right now, is the cool breeze that comes in through the open window and rifles my pages, the smell of hot tea which tends to go cold before I remember to drink it, and the purr of a languid cat who bats at my pencil as it scratches across the page.

Today, I made it to 130 pages.  I hope to write a bit longer before I tuck it all away for the day.  I know there will be more fights ahead, more betrayal, and abandonment.  I know what lies ahead and (to be quite honest) there are parts I am not eager to write...but this is how we get from Here to There.