Speaking of images in my head: I also have a haunting picture in my head, and it has found its way (sort of) into my book. (I know, "Surprise!" right?) But still, having grown up close enough to the South to have actually seen several bottle trees, they do rather take root in your subconscious. If you have not been lucky enough to see one in person, then you can check out this 1930s photograph of a bottle tree taken by Eudora Welty:
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| Photograph of a Bottle Tree taken by Eudora Welty, circa 1930. Can't you just hear those trapped spirits? |
You see, there is this other part of me, a part that I hate to acknowledge, that is rather afraid of being done. This bit of me is afraid of a time when the story is on paper, all typed up, nicely edited, read and re-read, formatted, and reach to launch. Because then it is no longer mine; then it belongs to the world. As writers well know, the world can be cruel; it it is our instinct to want to protect our "baby" from all that viciousness. But the truth is that Art cannot live tucked away in the bottom drawer (or trapped on a flash drive, or hidden on your laptop), it has to be seen and breathed in and appreciated (or, perhaps just as likely, not appreciated) in order to exist.
So, I try to squelch my fears and write on...word after word, day after day. I alternate between exhilaration and dread...and I am okay with that.
I love finishing a book. When I start editing, I have a few quiet moments of panic at the beginning of the first rewrite when I think, "What the hell was I thinking? This all stinks!" Once I get over that panic moment, though, it becomes a happy challenge to improve and rewrite. It always feels great after a few hours, when I manage to get over a few hurdles. I start feeling like a writing superhero! :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Editing. It's easier to find motivation, but it feels more like work.
ReplyDeleteI've never had that fear of finishing a book. By the time I've dedicated a few months of myself to a first draft, I'm ready just get that baby done. It's like being pregnant, I guess. x3
I like editing too as it enables to polish the final result and add in the bits that eluded me as I wrote the first draft.
ReplyDeleteI solemnly swear that if you should happen to "be sick" sometime in the near future, I will dutifully call you up approximately 2 hours after you wake up and ask if you're writing yet. You are allowed, very begrudgingly, to put me off for one more hour IF you have a really, really good excuse "I'm cleaning Kid 2's puke off the floor" or "My washing machine just flooded the entire kitchen!" After that, however, I don't care if your whole house is burning down, you're writing. ... and this is how I became your book's midwife. :)
ReplyDeleteSee, THIS is how you get your name on the dedications page!
DeleteI feel the same way about editing. What's that saying..."a writer doesn't write a book, they re-write a book"...or something to that effect. I love putting my first draft down for a month or so and then going back. Especially when I come upon the parts that suck :). I always think, "wow, not enough caffeine/chocolate that day!"
DeleteI will have to let everyone know if I still like editing after I have a few weeks of it under my belt. I may be singing a TOTALLY different tune. There is nothing like having a totally public record of every idiotic idea and assumption I have about writing memoralized for my future embarrassment!
DeleteI know how you feel! I remember when I was drafting my first novel and the closer I got to the end, the less I wanted to finish it. I didn't want to stop writing it because I was afraid of getting closer to having to give it to the world. It's a silly fear, but a very real one that writers have to deal with. Great post :)
ReplyDeleteExactly! However, my new fear is that if I keep having my writing time stolen away by ill timed "life-stuff" that the ideas will vaporize and all of the inspiration I have will leak out of my head.
DeleteI have jotted down notes and snippets, but apparently I am convinced that when the ideas vaporize they will also disappear from the page as well as my head.
I think I need to start a list of my writing related phobias...
Like you I'm busy watching my book take shape and change into the book I have in my head. Good luck with your writing
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