Monday, February 13, 2012

Writer's Guilt...and 149 Pages

This is one of those days when I feel like a fraud.  I wonder If you are really a writer, why didn't you write at all this weekend?  Writers, well...they actually write.  Ouch.

Yep.  I did not write Saturday or Sunday...not a bloody word!  I helped the kids decorate Valentine's Days boxes for school, I made a huge trip to the store with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to stock up on food in case the winter weather became something impressive and fearsome (it didn' was pathetic...but, hey, at least I got my cabinets filled up!). 

I watched too much television (which I rarely do at all, much less to excess). 

I ate too much (and this at a time when I am entered in a "Biggest Loser" contest at work...more because I could really use the $400 prize rather than out of any real desire to become smaller). 

I did not write.  I was not productive.  Full stop.  No excuses.  (Just lots and lots of "writer's guilt").  [NOTE:  In an effort to avoid writing, I just went so far as to google "writer's guilt"...nothing.  Perhaps I am the only one who actually feels guilty when I go more than one day without having written something of substance.]

So, taken as a whole, I am assuming that I am still at "That Part of the Book."  (For more information on the pit of despair that is "That Part of the Book," please refer to Neil Gaiman's Pep Talk here.)  I am between 1/2 and 3/4 of the way through the first that seems about right.  "That Part of the Book" is a dark, dark place to be.  It seems that the only time I can force myself to sit and write is over my lunch hour at work...which is something at least, but not nearly enough. 

I suppose to should be grateful that it is not something more Writer's Block, or a Lost Manuscript (please hold on a moment while I knock on wood frantically).

Ok.  So apparently I need a self imposed deadline.  Something more short-term than the whole "year" thing to spur on some serious writing and get me back on track.  Fair enough.  I can do that...what"I must write15 pages before the end of the day on Friday."  But wait.  There needs to be a consequence.  I need some incentive to actually get it done.  I will have to ponder this. 

On that note, if you happen to have any suggestions of possible consequences for failing to write my page count, feel free to leave them in the comments.  Maybe I should post some paragraphs...or a chapter...of what I am working on.  Perhaps some of my handwritten pages, or notes, or maps.  Or a picture of me writing, in my jim-jams, not wearing any make-up.  [Note:  In the interest of not wanting a lose any of my Followers, especially when people are just starting to "follow" me, perhaps the whole "no make-up" part is not the wisest idea...]  But I am open to suggestions, so comment away!

Also, in the spirit of continuing to share more of my current work-in-progress, I shall offer the following:

A slightly creepy, but ultimately rather intriguing, cairn.
 Enough procrastinating, already!  I will now sharpen my pencil, grab my lunch, and hole up at the corner table in the office break room so that I can try to get words on paper.